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WHO is the head NOW’r in charge?

Leslie Brown

Wow, quite a shake-up at the National Organization of WOMYN or “NOW”! Veruca Salt has been named as the the new SPOKESWOMYN!!!

STOP HERE. O.K. I was gonna do a whole satire on Veruca Salt (of Willie Wonka, not the band) replacing the current “who-knows-what-that-position-is-called-just-by-looking-at-the-site-but-I-didn’t-take-ten-centuries-either” at NOW.

But geez, just trying to find out her flippin’ NAME on the NOW site, was beyond my patience…(I probably should qualify that with the fact that I am a redhead. Let’s just say redheads are not exactly known for their patience, let’s say). I’d send you to some red-head joke sites, but we try to keep it clean here.

So now; my moving and inciteful visit to NOW:

Main, or opening page, hmmm, can’t find out who the head of this operation might be… Be it “president”(hmmm…?),”chairman” (probably DEFINITELY not that one…), “chairwoman”? I even searched “chairwomyn”. No luck such luck when I tried in the “Search” bar.

I guess NOW’s “Head-NOW-er-in-charge” is really humble and modest to not be flingin’ their name all over the website! That could be, after all. My name isn’t on my card; it’s about the SITE.

I then went to the page that that was labeled “NOW LEADERS”. Geez, I get to that page and it’s flippin’ PASSWORD PROTECTED!!!! WTH?? Well, I finally calmed down, and got to thinking they were just being nice because they were just trying to protect our eyes. How considerate is that?

The End.

Next time, we’ll see what special qualities led to the choice of Ms. Salt. So far, I’m really impressed.

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