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Chastity for Farm Animals!!!!

Leslie Brown

I’ve always thought those P.E.T.A. guys were pretty weird. I mean geez, if God didn’t want us to eat animals, how come He made them out of meat?

Well, it might be time to change my tune, and partner-up with them for a common cause; The Hijabs for Animals Campaign. I mean seriously, why hasn’t P.E.T.A. spoken out about this yet? I.S.I.S. is requiring stores in Tehran, to robe mannequins in hijabs. Y’all I CAN’T make this stuff up!*

I mean, have you ever heard of any MANNEQUINS being taken out for “dinner and a movie”, (forgetting BOTH the dinner and a movie of course) by a Muslim? No-siree! It often happens all the time to poor sheep and goats over there though. We need to protect both the chastity and honor of these helpless creatures so they don’t get killed in an “honor killing” for accidently exchanging furtive glances with Achmed one too many times.

Not to mention the age old, “HIS parent’s tent, or HER parent’s barn for Ramadan debate”. I’m thinking we can maybe hit some of these tawdry little Hollywood tramps up for some of their clothes they’re always “forgetting” to wear for some fabric. Puhleaase! Can you say “exhibitionism” and “starved for attention”?

If the goats and sheep are not too “hip” to the hijabs and they interfere with their grazing and drinking water from a trough, an alternate plan is black socks. We will just need to outfit all of these sheep and goats with black socks and I think that might quell passions perhaps even BETTER than covering the faces of these little wooly Jezebels.

*If you don’t know me very well, I only read non-fiction! I hate fiction! It’s “made up cr*p”. Why would I read somebody else’s made up cr*p when I have an imagination myself? (Yes, I know, I am strange). Y’all if we don’t laugh, we’ll cry.

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